She's a blonde, rather generic-looking student who moved in over the summer and lives across the hall from me. Despite the fact that she lives in an exquisitely tiny studio apartment, her boyfriend appears to have moved in with her. This boyfriend has a full-bore mohawk (think London 1980), multiple piercings, lots of tattoos, and smokes occasionally in the hallway outside my apartment. He's actually fairly pleasant, making eye contact and saying hello, but for whatever reason, the two of them do not seem to want to close their blinds tightly at night, and try as I might not to look after parking my bike near their window, I always see various flesh-toned body parts lying entwined on her bed through the gaps in the window covering.
It's been making me feel a lot like Gladys Kravitz.
Making matters worse, I was working on my computer two nights ago when very vocal, female moans began drowning out the music I was playing.
Although my friend Shauna (who lives on the other side of this girl) had informed me that she could hear them through her wall on a nightly basis, I had never been bothered. Suddenly, I looked up from my monitor and turned down my music momentarily to confirm that I was -- yes, I was -- actually hearing orgasmic howling reverberating through our entire apartment complex's courtyard. I then went to my open window to stare into the dark and empty courtyard (filled only with the sounds of a woman's passion) to confirm that -- yes indeed -- they were making as much noise as I believed they might have been making.
Affirmative...
... it's not just my imagination.
So I immediately turned up my music...
... and pretended I was not privy to the porn scene going on next door.
After all, I was reading a thrilling on-line article about the economics of Middle Eastern satellite TV.
In other noisy news, the back door to my apartment complex, which is also next to my apartment, has a broken spring, causing the heavy metal door to slam at a maximum velocity of approximately 60 mph every time someone uses it to get to or from their car. I was literally shaken awake at 6:24am today when some disrepectful asshat in my complex let the door swing shut at full speed while en route to god knows where at that hour.
If I hadn't have been so tired, I would have run outside and screamed at the perpetrator...
Ahhh, my lovely college digs.
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