Kenny G., the Taxpayer Torturer

Here is what is obsessing and vexing me lately... my HATEFUL TAXES! I've mastered the federal taxes, but now I'm living a state tax nightmare, thanks to the inept civil servants that form the bureaucratic pit also known as the U.S. State Department. The incompetent nimrod that was supposed to have submitted my "change of address tax code" when I moved from DC to Virginia at the beginning of 2005 never turned my paperwork into the accounting department. So... what is on my W-2?!? Oh, yes, DC tax payments for six full months that never should have been paid. Now I'm trying to get a refund from DC, an extension and/or an amended return for Virginia, with no help whatsoever from the State Department's top-notch federal employees in trying to get a corrected W-2.



The point of this whole story, aside from me getting angry just typing it out (I'm considering this venting to be therapeutic), is that I have been on my cell phone for hours at a time, trying to talk to state tax customer service representatives in DC and Virginia to figure out what in the hell I am supposed to do about my state tax payments. Lest you believe I have actually been speaking to anyone on my cell phone, let me correct your thinking ... I have been sitting ON HOLD on my cell phone, waiting to connect to a human voice.

And here is what I have discovered... both Virginia AND the District provide their tax callers with the same music... can you guess what that music is?

It is none other than the most god awful, ear drum burning, shrill and screechingly irritating music ever to be heard on planet Earth... also known as the "music" of KENNY G.


Kenny G., I wish to BANISH THEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Even the crazy new Iranian president was smart enough to ban Kenny G.'s music from ever playing over Iranian airwaves again... (Seriously!! Read about it here.)

So listen up, VA and DC state tax officiators... I know that using Kenny G. music is a clever tactic to coerce many of your citizens off the phones immediately so you can free your customer service employees from having to answer so many stupid tax questions, but really, forcing your loyal subjects (who don't have the option to hang up) to listen to a shrieking soprano saxophone played by a curly-headed nob for over 30 minutes is just not right. Many of us are already in a state of upset over our tax problems, and Kenny G. is only making an ugly situation worse. Do you think I'm in a better mood after listening to him butcher "Careless Whisper" and scooby-doodle all over the musical scale ad nauseum for half an hour? No, I'm not.

It is truly torture for the tortured... hmmm, fitting, I suppose.