Do Unto Others...

Have you ever been driving down the highway, minding your own business, listening peacefully to your radio and enjoying the scenery, when some douchebag driving 95 miles per hour starts swerving around traffic, cuts you off, and almost clips your bumper as he passes you?

And then you think... wow, I really wish there were a cop around right now. That guy really deserves a several hundred dollar ticket.

And then by some stroke of luck or through a miracle worthy only of God's intervention, the a-hole actually does get pulled over and you feel hugely satisfied?


Hahahahahaha!

I had a similar experience today at the gym.

After Arabic class, I headed over to the Rec Center to swim laps (BTW, timed mile pace today/36 laps = 35 minutes). When I was done swimming, I walked back into the locker room to get my backpack and clothes out of my locker.

A woman was standing on the bench next to my locker getting her stuff out of the locker diagonally above mine. However, I couldn't get into my locker because her backpack and shoes were blocking it.

Standard locker room etiquette dictates that if you see someone waiting to get into her locker and you're blocking it somehow, you immediately move your stuff, she says thank you, you say no problem, you both smile at each other, and all is well.

However, I stood there for about 20 seconds waiting for her, and she just ignored me and kept rooting around in her locker. Now, here I am in my bathing suit and towel, holding my goggles and swim cap, dripping water all over the floor, and this woman just pretends I'm standing there for the hell of it.

Finally, I said "Excuse me..." and she turned very dramatically, stared me down for about three full seconds and then slammed her locker, grabbed her backpack and shoes from in front of my locker, and said very loudly, "EXCUSE ME!" as she proceeded to pick up her other things and stomp off, bumping into me on her way out.

I looked to my right, where another girl was standing and observing the whole thing, and she gave me the arched eyebrow look that every woman knows means, "You poor thing. What a bitch!"

We then exchanged a few pleasantries like, "Can you believe that wretched woman?" and "Yeah, she's clearly an insane wack job."

Then this girl said to me, "Hey, is that your wallet?"

I looked down on the ground and saw a black billfold, which was clearly not mine. With a fair amount of trepidation, I leaned down and picked it up (afraid that if psychobitch returned I might be accused of theft). Upon looking at the ID card, I confirmed immediately that it was indeed the wicked witch's wallet.



I turned to the girl and said, "Bad karma is a bitch, isn't it?"

Having been the victim of two stolen/lost wallets in my life, I know what a horror it is to lose all of your documentation. Therefore, I am the first person to turn in any kind of ID card or wallet I find. I've even turned in earrings at the gym before...

However, this time I simply turned my back on her wallet laying out on the bench and proceeded to leave the locker room empty handed. As did the other girl.

It really doesn't pay to be an ass to people.

ps - I just talked to my brother on the phone, and he wanted to know why I didn't throw the wallet in the nearest garbage can. He seems to think that would have been the ultimate lesson to this woman. I'm not going to lie... the thought crossed my mind. But I figured that might just unleash some bad karma on me instead.