Sunday, July 15, 2007

A Super Saucy Saturday

I must say that this past Saturday was one of the more colorful days/nights in my life.

I woke up with a bit of a hangover from a tapas dinner party I attended at B & A's Friday night (A -- congrats on passing your thesis defense again, BTW!)... I didn't even drink that much, but I'd brought some Turning Leaf Sauvignon Blanc that gave me the worst headache I've had in a long time...

Buyer, be warned.

After moping around my place for a while in the morning, I called Ingrid to see if she wanted to go with me to investigate karaoke rentals at the "Chicago Music Store" downtown.

Luckily, she agreed to accompany me, and we ventured into the most chaotic, seemingly unorganized, and cluttered shop I've ever seen in my life...

This was the view down one of the alleyways of musical equipment.

After playing around for nearly an hour with the DJ equipment, pianos, synthesizers, and gawking at the pimped out purple & gold plated mariachi accordions, we found a great deal on a karaoke machine rental that has 5,000 songs on a built-in hard drive.

I made Ingrid (who is far more tech savvy than I) check out the musical choices on the hard drive from the store owner's "office." (FYI: his computer password is "asshole")

Look at this guy's nook...

You would appreciate it much more if you saw it juxtaposed amidst the entire store, which contains about 4,000 square feet of this tornado-like debris.

As we were paying at the front of the shop, this guy walked in with his baby bulldog...

Holy shit, how cute are the dog sunglasses (called "Doggles")?

I also commented to Ingrid that the above duo was total proof that dogs and owners do in fact often look alike. I think she responded with something like, "You're terrible." Oh, come on!

After hitting the gym and relaxing a bit at home that evening, my friend Iva text messaged me around 11pm to see if I wanted to meet out for a drink at Plush.

Normally, I might have said no because I was tired and still mildly hungover. But seeing as I only have two weekends left in Tucson (sad face), I figured I should take advantage of one of my last Saturday nights.

And, as is usually the case, the nights that you least expect to be great, turn out to be your best nights.

Long story short... we met these two guys at Plush. One of them (B.) had just graduated from UA. He looked, seriously, exactly like a young Andy Dick...

While he was seemingly heterosexual, he was there with his flamboyantly gay best friend, Ivan, who was visiting Tucson from Las Vegas, where he works as a sales assistant at Escada in Caesar's Palace.

While Iva paired off with B., I spent most of my night learning about gay life in Vegas from a highly entertaining member of its society.

We closed down Plush (recommendation: get an "oatmeal cookie" cocktail next time you're there). Then Iva and B. wanted to get coffee. Although I thought perhaps I should call it a night -- it was around 2:30am by this point -- I rallied my last drops of energy, and we walked about 1/2 mile to The Grill on Congress.

As I was waiting in line for the bathroom, I was pulled into conversation by a booth of three beef-cakey military officers who are special ops survival training instructors at Fort Huachuca.

It's times like these when it is beneficial to have been in the military before... because although they initially tried to convince me that they were not in the military, they started throwing out acronyms that I immediately recognized. So I called them out on it. I love the element of surprise.

Furthermore, judging by the fact that they were leeching onto anyone in a skirt who walked by their table during the time we were all there, it was pretty clear that these guys were positively desperate for a late-night hook-up. (Not really surprising considering the fact that they just came out of weeks of desert survival training.)

Their general horniness was made even clearer when they left their table around 3:30am and loitered outside for a while, peering back through the front window at Iva for at least five minutes and basically freaking her out. Soon, we received a message from our waitress that "the gentlemen outside wanted to buy the ladies some dessert." I told our guy friends that they apparently were not considered any sort of threat.

In response, super gay Ivan said he was ready to kick some ass. Then he giggled and corrected that to "get some ass."

We all went ahead and ordered a piece of chocolate cake to share (I mean, why not?) and about five more minutes later, our waitress delivered this to our table...

Seemingly harmless, no?

Until we opened it and found this inside...

If that's not a proposition, I don't know what is.

Ivan said he wondered what they would do if he showed up. Then he wondered if they were all sharing a room. Then the conversation took a rather dirty turn that I won't repeat here.

Needless to say, Jake didn't get lucky last night.

5 comments: said...

whoa - not only have i met that guy with the dog before, i have a picture of him in the EXACT same pose with his dog on my last blog!

JC said...

Eww, creepy flirting. Although it could have been funny, it's probably best that Ivan didn't show up!

Chickytava said...

D - That is too weird! Did he tell you that "Zeus" was the father of the bulldog? He was very proud that this puppy was the offspring of the famous Zeus of dog show fame. It reminded me a little of "Best in Show."

JC said...

Hey, did you hear about how Jon Lovitz kicked Andy Dick's ass last weekend? Apparently AD is the one who got Phil Hartman's wife back on the sauce after being sober for 10 years. And six months later she flipped out.

nonstop said...

That proposition is almost as good as a dude in Vegas putting out a 100 dollar chip if Anna and her friend came up to their room in the Wynn... I was game for the deal... but somehow it wasn't for me.... I was insulted!

God... I've got to learn how to pick up women in a bar/casino/The Grill.... Thanks for the 'how to do' guide.