Fashion Police on Campus

I think I must have been a puritan in another life. OK, really, I'm no prude, but the outfits that girls wear around this campus just spell out h-o b-a-g to me. At the very least, they are all very Britney Spears-inspired. What happened to the classic fashion of Audrey Hepburn and Coco Chanel? How about Banana Republic even? This campus has been taken over by teenage fashion queens who shop at Bebe, 5-7-9, and the juniors' department in Macy's (you know, where they play blaring "Usher" videos and have mannequins with mohawks). Of course, I suppose I should have expected to see this since I'm back to school with a bunch of late teens and early 20-somethings, but I don't remember seeing clothes like this back in 1992. This may be because I went to the school known as J. Crew U., and we were all a bunch of preppy little snobs, and it was also autumn in Ohio (ie: cold!)... so no one could really show skin even if they wanted to. But really, these girls have no sense of class at all --- here are a few examples of typical UofA outfits (I took clandestine photos with my digital camera):


The flared mini-jean skirt is a big favorite. Especially paired with large belt and skin-tight mini tank top. This tank top is actually better than most (many girls have bellies hanging out). This girl also has a good figure, which is not the norm. I just want to tell any woman with touching thighs (most of us) that they really should avoid this look.


Here is the mini-tank and mini-short look. Very popular as well. If you look closely at a larger scale of this photo, you can see the bottom of this girl's butt cheek. Actually, this girl is modest compared to some. I saw half a butt cheek sticking out of some micro-shorts yesterday. Not cool. Or classy.


Here is the babydoll dress. While not quite as popular as the mini flared skirt, it is also a rather common theme on campus. If you look like Heidi Klum, you can wear this. If you do not look like a supermodel (ie: belly and thighs), you should not wear this. Some girls pair this with jeans, but it's also (unfortunately) worn by itself.


Here is another version of the flared jean mini skirt. This one has been paired with a print tee, which are also very popular. She accessorized with a belt (cuts her off and doesn't match the outfit), sling bag, and flip flops. All are requisites to looking cool here. Or not.


Finally, here is the tini-tank paired with skin tight jeans. Fine if you have no belly. Not cool with a belly. (Sidenote: the lady behind this girl is wearing "mom jeans"!!!)