... with the sudden and shocking realization that my mother's plane was arriving in (oh shit!) just two hours! This gave me exactly an hour and a half to lug my sad self out of bed, wash all the bedding and linens (hey, I am the hostess with the mostest and must keep up my reputation), scour my apartment, and prepare my mom's mother's day gift since I can't really do it while she's here this week. (All things I planned to do the night before, BTW).
The mother's day gift involved making a necklace from items bought at the gem show earlier this year, and if you've ever tried working with very small, detail intense craft supplies at 8:30 am without having had coffee yet and suffering from a mild hangover whilst also angsting about making it to the airport on time to pick up your mother, I can assure you that it tests the patience of even the most very patient person (which is most definitely not me, BTW)...
This is more like it...
Although I'm not sure if this is the right self-help guide for me:
"Dealing with stress is all about Jesus! Here's a brand new, six-unit Bible study that deals directly with the stress that slaps you in the face (on a daily basis). Through exploring God's Word with author Cindi Wood, you'll find practical help for dealing with issues like managing your time, getting along with difficult people, and even organizing your life!"
Or better yet, just drink a pitcher of beer and deal with stress later.
After all, it worked for me... although I drove in excess of 75 mph the entire way to the airport, I made it with exactly 15.3 seconds to spare, looking refreshed, dewy, and perhaps even perky by that point.
However, I hadn't managed to squeeze in a trip to the grocery store so I took my mom straight from the airport to the local "Fry's" food store by my house (the AZ version of Kroger), which has the nappiest clientele in Tucson. Although I could have taken her somewhere more "quality," I believed she needed to be indoctrinated with the type of people I see in Tucson on a regular basis, especially in my neighborhood... you know, pony-tailed men with 80 tattoos per arm, toothless meth addicts, women too obese to walk cruising around on Lark scooters, pregnant teen drop-outs, and haggard old ex-strippers...
You know what I'm talking about...
Anyway, we had a nice day, even with our visit to Fry's (which my mother found "scary") and aside from roasting in the 100 degree heat. We hung out in my apartment for a bit, got pedicures, and then swam laps at the pool to cool off.
My poor mom was exhausted tonight as a result of her super early flight from the East Coast and the three-hour time difference so she's peacefully snoring away now on fresh sheets.
Hopefully, I'll have a minute to write up something tomorrow... apparently there was a big brouhaha in our department today when this crazy girl named A. (name omitted for "Google" search protection) got fired from her teaching assistantship position and then her lunatic mother showed up at the department threatening the administrators...
"How dare you fire my precious? I will axe all of you up into a million little pieces and eat your flesh later this week! And if it doesn't put the lotion in the basket, it will get the hose!"
Apparently the staff were so freaked out, someone called the police, who showed up to defray the situation. Damn, I always miss out on all the excitement! I heard this was the event of the year for our usually lame department...
On that note... I'd better go to bed since my mom will be up and chirping around 6 am or so.
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