Texas Ranch House

I believe I've already admitted my geeky interest in 19th century pioneer life... and tonight I found my dream TV program... "Texas Ranch House"... on PBS.

Yes, yes, I know, while other people are into 'normal' shows like "Law and Order," "CSI," and "Grey's Anatomy," I'm mesmerized by a show about Texas cattle herding and crapping in outhouses. (Hey, wait, that sounds kind of like "Dallas"!... which I also liked a lot)


Yeehaw for J.R.

Of course, as is my typical luck, I discovered this show on the night of the series finale, but I still completely indulged in all of its fabulousness and am just sad that I didn't know it was on earlier. If any of you have ever seen "Manor House" or "Pioneers," this show is of the same ilk... ie: take suburban people and throw them back to another century, where they have to live exactly like people of those times. That is, they have to use tools, furniture, and cooking utensils like 19th century people, and of course, practice 19th century hygiene, which is always one of the more interesting aspects of the show.


Yummmmm... it's the new Dove shower gel called "Cow Carcass"

One of the great things about "Texas Ranch House," which was set in 1867, was that the entire cast hated each other by the end of the show, and the cowboys actually walked off the ranch on the last day, in defiance of the way they'd been treated by the ranch family.

Here's the most rebellious (coolest) cowboy, Jared:

And here's his quote from the PBS website, which makes me like him even more:

"We met the ranch family and basically they don't look like they know much about ranching. But, then again, I don't look like I know much about disco dancing, but I'm really quite good at it."

And honestly, the people chosen to be the ranch family were so obnoxious that after only an hour of watching, I loathed them. In particular, the dough-faced wife just needed a nice crisp smack on her pudgy face to wake her up to the fact that no one liked her for a reason. Not only was she bossy, but she was also smug, and she had the shortest leash on her wimpy husband I've ever seen.


Bossy Rosacea Doughface... Evil Personified

The husband was totally unorganized (he had only about half of the information he should have had in his 'accounting ledger' when the 'expert ranch historian evaluators' showed up at the end of the show), and he treated the ranch hands/cowboys like cretins, which forced their rebellion. Of course, the idiot wife kept egging the pathetic husband on, pushing him into making terrible decisions.


Wimpy Washed-Out Mr. Cooke... with all the personality of a feedbag

Oh... and the wife was a terrible housekeeper, throwing manure right outside the front door so there were flies everywhere in the house, plus she and her chubby, lazy daughters didn't do the dishes regularly either, making the fly problem even worse. One daughter, named Vienna, was particularly annoying.


Dumpy, loud-mouthed Vienna (Sausage... bwaaahahaha)

OK -- I'm geeking out right now on this show, and I'm sure you're freaking bored... so I am going to go back to writing my paper (and/or sleeping)...

If you're actually interested in hearing more about the show, go to the PBS "Texas Ranch House" website. I loved it!