Beauty courtesy of her mother. Contorted faces courtesy of my family's genetics.
I'm mentioning her today because I received the most charming little message from her on my cell phone this morning while I was in class. It went something like this:
Isabella: Hi Kit...
No response (as she was talking to my voice mail)
Isabella (to my brother, Taylor, who must have been standing next to her): She's not saying anything.
Taylor: Just talk into the phone. You're leaving her a message.
Isabella: It says I should press 5.
Taylor: You don't need to press 5, just talk.
Isabella: Hi Kit. (long pause) I don't have a Cabbage Patch. Can I have your Cabbage Patch? Kit, I'm going to give your Cabbage Patch back. Bye.
Thankfully, my mother had already forewarned me that Isabella is interested in "borrowing" my old childhood Cabbage Patch doll for a while, or else I would have had no earthly idea what the child was saying to me. Now, before you get any weird ideas that I am still sleeping with my old Cabbage Patch kid (her name is Jacobina Jessalyn, by the way) or that I have her locked up in a curio case in my living room as a collector's item, I am happy to say that she is not in my possession at this time, nor have I played with her for at least two decades.
You see, this is where my mother comes in. My sentimental mother has a number of old keepsakes that she's held on to from my brother's and my childhoods... you know... pictures we've drawn or painted in school, clothing she made for us (my mother was quite the seamstress in her day), our favorite stuffed animals, and so on. My mom is still even holding on to my brother's and my old wooden high chair (in hopes that if I ever procreate, my child will have the same dining accessories as I did). Anyhow, one of the golden "save-me" items is my Cabbage Patch doll (which were the rage in 1983, I assure you, as I prayed for one every night for many months).
Jacobina looks just like this.
And yes, I'm giving her to Isabella until I want her back. You never know, that could be next week.
In order to find the image of the Cabbage Patch doll above (so you would have a visual of one of my fondest childhood toys), I had to conduct a Google image search. I discovered several choice images under "Cabbage Patch Kids."
Here is the first one:
The Donald Trump Cabbage Patch.
This is hideously scary.
But better yet, I just love this picture:
I don't know these people, but this quinessential 80s photo
is posted on some guy's personal website. It's of him and his
little brother. If this picture had been of me, I would have
banished it permanently and sworn my family to secrecy
forever, especially as a guy.
All of this Cabbage Patch nonsense got me thinking about their alter-egos, the Garbage Pail Kids.
Remember these?:
We all knew someone in high school who
had the unfortunate luck to look like this.
As I continued my websearch, I came across a website devoted entirely to Garbage Pail Kids. You can even send out Garbage Pail Kids e-cards to your friends!!! Watch your in-boxes, people... I'm putting this link in my "favorites" folder.
I also came across this quiz and decided to take it: What type of childhood toy from the 1980s are you?
Guess what I am?
You're Rubik's Cube!! You may think you're popular, but you're actually extremely annoying. Seriously.
Poof... the wind just let itself right out of my sails. Rubik's cube sucked, and so do I apparently.
On a final note, since I speaketh of the 80s tonight, I made a reference to Corky (from "Life Goes On," of course) in my Arabic class today, and the two undergraduates working in a group with me just stared at me blankly and didn't get my joke at all.
Imagine life without any knowledge of Corky:
Until next time, I'm off to study Islamic Law.
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