Monday, May 28, 2007

Wildest Bachelorette Party Ever

Last night, I attended a bachelorette party for a girl in my department named Alana, who is marrying a Moroccan guy and moving there in a month.

She invited most of the girls from my (former) department and some of her high school friends who are still here in Tucson.

It was a pretty tame event (no bar hopping, no Lifesaver t-shirts or bridal veils, and minimal penis props... but I think this is mostly because Alana is converting to Islam). Frankly, it was a bit on the "slumber party games" side of things, but that was fine by me since I think typical bachelorette parties might just be the lamest things in the whole world... ie: "I dare you to ask that guy for his boxer shorts!" --- uggggh.*

Here are the binat (girls in Arabic) from my department...

Carrie, Shauna, Danielle, Laura, me, Alana, Lindsey, Ruth, Wafa, and Rachael.

And here I am with just Shauna and Lindsey...

My first two friends in Tucson.

Here's Alana attacking her pinata...

... which all of us hoped was filled with chocolate and sex toys and actually ended up being filled with hard candy (reminding me of the sweets that my grandmother used to try to pawn off on us from her weekly "food & friends" meetings... and which I naturally rejected... Werther's Originals? Yuck.) and Mexican tamarind flavored crap that is just plain gross.

Prior to my disappointment, I was excited about decorating my candy bag...

... and Carrie seemed to approve as well.

My favorite part of the night (besides sipping on wine coolers) was the pornographic cupcake contest...

... which you can see the results of above. I attempted to go a bit over the top with a well-designed pink frosted choo-cha and a large black 3-D penis entering it (a "pimp & ho" cupcake is how I was touting it), but the black dick ended up looking more like a cluster of turds, which put my cupcake off the map on the scale of dirtiness... literally. Furthermore, the balls/turds ended up sliding off the side of the cupcake. (See center dessert). I won the award for "biggest monstrosity" AKA "grossest cupcake."

Crazy times, I tell you, crazy times.

* P -- Your upcoming bachelorette plans are excluded from this conversation, mostly because you're over 30, you're getting a limo, and you're pre-partying in a hotel room, all of which add major cool points to your soiree.

5 comments:

JC said...

Yes, your dessert creation is quite horrifying! I can see what you were going for, but it does kind of look like a turd. The clear winner in my opinion is the intricately detailed vagina on the lower right of the tray. Bravo!

Laura said...

I can't wait to see all the hits your site gets from people googling "black dick"...

Nice one!

Italianissima said...

A HUMMER limo :) I am so glad you will be in DC to partake in the bachelorette madness!!!

Anonymous said...

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Unknown said...

Your bachelorette party is really wild. Would love to arrange such party for my sister and will be booking one of DC wedding venues for the day. Have already make a list for best ideas and still looking for some more ideas. Hope will be able to throw an enjoyable party.