Several years ago, my very chatty 60-something-year-old male OB/GYN doctor in DC told me that I should not use antiperspirant. Curious, I asked "why?" He said, "well, why do you have sweat glands there if you're not supposed to use them?" Hmmm, I wondered. I gave no response. He ended the conversation by saying, "Exactly!" But I kept thinking about it later that day --- I mean, I don't know why I have hair on my legs that isn't useful, but I do, and I don't know why I have toe nails that I have to spend $30/month on in pedicures, but I do... and thus I came to the conclusion that armpit sweat must be one of those old necessities during our primate days, but not needed now. I mean, really, why do we sweat in our pits? Yuck!
Even celebrities like Mischa Barton have primate functions!
So I didn't listen to him. It sounded like a bunch of new-age hocus pocus. And anyway, there is scientific proof that antiperspirant doesn't cause cancer (click the links above to read more, if you haven't yet, and you're really interested).
So I went back for an exam the next year, and he asked me if I was still using anti-perspirant. I sheepishly responded that indeed, I was still using it. He chastised me and told me I should stop using it... saying again, "you have sweat glands there for a reason, you know." Ahhh, yeah, sure. So I promised him that I would consider his advice, and of course, I ignored it because I was not about to start using subpar products that might cause me to smell like a Third World bathroom...
I actually took this picture of a "toilet" in an internet cafe in Cairo.
I mean, my doctor didn't really seem new-agey, but one never knows. I thought it best to just proceed normally in life and continue to buy my Secret Solid.
Then this past year, after I moved to AZ, I had to go to the Student Health Clinic (ohhh the horror!!) for my annual doctor's appointment.
My DC doctor's warning, although I considered it nonsense, for some reason continued to guilt me out everytime I applied my CVS-purchased, Procter & Gamble corporately produced, disease-inducing, anti-sweat agent in the mornings.
So in an attempt to alleviate this Catholic-like feeling, I asked the nurse practictioner at the UA clinic what she thought about this "stop using anti-perspirant" advice. And guess what she said? Stop using it!!!! She said, while there was no direct evidence it caused breast cancer, she still thought it was an unnecessary risk and that sweat glands should indeed be used for sweat. Well, crap. Now what was I going to do? Now I had double the guilt.
Despite this, I spent the summer back in DC maintaining my usual anti-p. habits (I mean, DC is hot and sweaty, and a professional office setting is nowhere to be experimenting around with body odor products).
I therefore decided to take on the challenge upon my return to Tucson this past August (where my reputation is not particularly important to me). First, I tried Avalon Organics Peppermint roll-on deodorant, and I can assure you that this shit doesn't work...
Total Stank Inducing Garbage!!!
After about an hour in the AZ heat, I caught a whiff of my sweating pits (thankfully while coming home from class), and I honestly felt nauseous. I didn't know I was capable of smelling like a toothless peasant who hadn't bathed for a week, but apparently, I very much am. I immediately tossed the crap in my wastecan and headed out to a healthfood store near here to find a different product.
I must admit I was worried I might receive an anonymous e-mail like this.
After perusing the various organic, anti-aluminum, all-natural, "I love yoga and granola and only eat vegan food" type of armpit products (and believe me, there are many to choose from)... I spotted a strange little clear cylinder in the top right corner of the shelf, nearly out of reach and hidden in the shadows. Although I would normally steer clear of a seemingly untouched item, the Avalon Peppermint roll-on from Hell had already convinced me that prominent shelf placement was not necessarily an indicator of quality.
I pulled the little bottle down from above, and noted it had a sticker on it saying "Over 8 Million Sold." Now, I don't know where they were sold, as this particular item was covered in a thin layer of dust, but for some reason, the advertising claim gave me hope.
And it was here that I met my newest favorite cosmetic product...
The (Amazing!) Thai Crystal Deodorant Stone.
Its Claims: Hypoallergenic, Eliminates Odor, Unscented, Non-Staining, 24 Hour Protection, Contains No Aluminum Chlorhydrate, Also Works Great for Foot Odor!
Produced by: Deodorant Stones of America (I haven't a clue why its name ties it to Thailand?!?)
So call me a new age hippy freak. Don't worry though... I am still shaving my pits, legs, etc. and I'm not wearing hemp or patchouli yet. But I am a huge fan of this product!!! It lasts all day and its all natural mineral salts keep you from smelling like a sweaty French chick on a crowded metro car...
Ooo la la, au revoir.... mon cheri!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment